THE 7 LAWS OF ROCK & ROLL SURVIVAL

1. NEVER TRUST YOUR MANAGER. ESPECIALLY IF HE'S ALSO YOUR DEALER.

2. DON’T MARRY ANYBODY WHO HATES YOU FOR BEING BIGGER THAN HER.

3. DON’T JOKE ABOUT CALLING YOUR NEXT ALBUM: I HATE MYSELF & WANT TO DIE. SOME MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP YOU OUT WITH THIS.

4. DON’T SAY YOU’RE BIGGER THAN JESUS. EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT BE TRUE, SOME PEOPLE TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY. 

5. IF YOU’VE GOT A MONKEY ON YOUR BACK FROM ALL THE IDOL WORSHIP, DO THE 12-STEP. FIND A SUPREME BEING OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

6. TAKE CARE OF YOUR LIVER. UNLESS YOU’RE LESH, CROSBY, OR JOBS, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE FOR A SPARE.

7. PACE YOURSELF ON TOUR. TAKE SOME TIME OFF. 

DO LIKE CLAPTON, WINWOOD, ALICE COOPER & THE OTHER ROCK LAZARUSES: TAKE UP GOLF.